We all know that the most challenging job in the world is being a parent. There is no greater responsibility than raising children. Besides, no one pays for it, no instructions are included, and only years later we can tell if we did the right job.
There are no good books on this subject, as every child is unique, so we must approach them differently. I have two, and I often feel like they are from entirely different galaxies. The only help is my intuition, which I must follow, believing that all I do is the best I can do at any given moment.
My children will always be my children, but they will grow up one day and leave home to look for their own place in life. My grandmother often said, “You raise children for the world, not for yourself.” Grandma was always right.
Even a sparrow throws its chicks out of the nest one day because only then can they really spread their wings and fully trust their flying skills. On the other hand, the same sparrow believes that it has prepared its children well for self-flying.
As I’m sure it does to most parents, what matters most to me is that my children are happy - stunning and very general statement.
What will really give my children happiness in life? What do I need to teach them? How to prepare them for independent living, so they enjoy it and welcome each day with joy?
By analyzing my own life and observing others with curiosity, I need to teach them not to be afraid to make difficult decisions, and more importantly, to face the consequences of these decisions bravely and calmly.
That’s how it is when you’re an adult: every decision you make has consequences. Many times, just making that is only a small part of the consequences for the rest of our lives. We must like to live with them.
The most important thing for my children is understanding this fact and knowing there’s always a solution to every situation; any decision they make will be a good decision. Everything happens for a reason; everything teaches us something. Only then we can move forward, evolve, and become better people. Only when we make difficult decisions and with them, we take the full responsibility they carry.
He who makes no decisions doesn’t make mistakes! But what is worth a life in a permanent comfort zone? Our mistakes sketch a better version of US.
For my children to live this way and be happy, they need to believe in themselves - that they are intelligent, resourceful, smart, and strong enough to face adversity. They must approach life with a kind of guts, assuming that even if things don’t go as they plan, they will be fine, they will make it. They always need to keep their head up because only then they can see the horizon, a wide perspective, a full view of life. They need a little bit of impertinence so they are not afraid of responsibility. Boundless trust in oneself and its intuition leads to miraculous results – living on own terms with a sense of fulfillment and absolute freedom (even if we are in a relationship with someone), and, consequently, full of happiness. Life is an adventure, not a punishment or a sentence. However, to equate it with experience, we must love ourselves and believe in our own ability to fly.
It doesn’t matter to me what career path my children choose. Any choice will be perfect if it brings them happiness and self-fulfillment.
Since I passionately believe in my own abilities, I’m not afraid of taking tough decisions, and I bear their consequences with my head up high. I know that my children will be able to eat life with spoons and enjoy the taste of it. I can only carry them by hand until a certain point. One day they will have to go further on their own because only then they will be able to find their own way.
And me? Well, I will sleep peacefully knowing that I have prepared them well for this dangerous yet exciting journey.